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The Art of Finding Oneself

By: Valeria Kuczynski

       It is a momentous and continuous task to find yourself. A person’s life is shaped by every experience and every person they come across. Mohja Kahf, Sherman Alexie, and James McBride are brilliant writers whose writings revolve around discovering “the self.” Their works display experiences of third space, a sort of tension that forces one to choose between cultures, and liminality, the experience of existing between two cultures. Through this pressure of choosing a culture or living between cultures, a person can find oneself and by doing so, pushes the boundaries of what it means to be American.

       The typical boundaries of what it means to be American stems around appearance and cultural influence. America is moving in great strides in expanding those boundaries, but there is still work to be done. When Samia Serageldin was interviewed by Maysa Abou-Yousseff Hayward, she said: “the ‘hyphenated’ writer brings a unique perspective to literature: that of the insider/outsider. It is the ability to see with bifocal vision that is the privilege, and the pitfall, of a transitional identity” (qtd. in El Gendy 128-129). Kahf, Alexie, and McBride explore the struggles associated with divided and combined identities in their writing. In this way, they push the boundaries of what it means to be an American.

       Two literary strategies that are used by ethnic writers use to convey an insider/outsider perspective are point of view and writing style. Point of view shows the inner workings of a character or the outer workings depending on who tells the story and whether that perspective is interchangeable. The narrator’s perspective can be useful in analyzing what the author is trying to tell the readers. This can be compromised if the narrator is unreliable and is making false claims. If the narrator is unreliable, this can be revealed by the author by clearing up any false claims or switching to another character’s perspective.

       An author’s writing style can contribute to the overall meaning of their text. The format that they choose, creates a certain dynamic. For example, the way a poet separates the lines in the stanzas, length of stanzas, and the number of stanzas used, contributes to the effectiveness of storytelling. Even the language whether it is sophisticated or simple, contributes to an author’s style and plays an important role in capturing or not capturing an audience’s attention. The mood of literature is influenced by the language used; in fact, it is created by the language.

       Mohja Kahf uses third person point of view in her poem, “The Roc” from E-mails from Scheherzad, as she talks about her family’s transition from Syria to the U.S. Though the focus is on her family, Kahf mainly focuses on her parents' transition in their new world. Through stanzas consisting of ten or more lines, she constructs her story while powerfully pausing using line breaking to create emphasis.

       In her poem “Hijab Scene #3,” also in E-mails from Scheherazad, a story of a Muslim woman’s exclusion from joining the PTA is told in first person. This shows the perspective of an insider who experiences the division of cultures in American society. Through the dialogue, her style of conversation inclusiveness is revealed. In the story, the exclusion of the narrator reveals the division present in society. She references different ways of communication such as Morse Code and fax to show the intensity of the efforts the narrator is making to be heard (lines 10-13). Though the poem is short consisting of one stanza, the language and format of the poem is effective in conveying her point.

       “The Roc” shows the experiences that Kahf’s family goes through as they encounter a new culture: the American culture. As they left Damascus and came to Utah, they are faced with choosing between their culture they brought with them and the new one (Kahf, “The Roc”). Instead of choosing between cultures, their family embraces the new, but also keeps their roots in Syria. It may appear as if they did leave their old ways or culture behind, but their connection to their past is evident when they make a phone call to their family back in Syria which connects them once again.

       These lines in the poem describe how strange the transition was for this family: “...It was/ my mother said, as if a monstrous bird/ had seized them up and dropped them/ in a fantastic, lunar terrain” (lines 23-26). Everything around them was new: the language, the food, but they seemed to enjoy their new home despite problems that they faced. Her mother took college classes but encountered difficulty with the English language and Kahf includes that her mother engaged in “tape-recording her college lectures so/ she could play, replay, decode/ the stream of alien phonemes into words” (31-32). This example of Kahf’s mother figuring out the English language shows commitment to embracing the new culture. The feast that the family has which is included near the end of the poem, displays the family’s involvement in taking on the new:

     The pilgrims were so happy at surviving
     that first semester in the new world,
     they had a feast. That’s mom
     laughing at the range loaf of the bread

     There’s dad holding up the new world coffee

     In its funny striped boxes. That’s us,

     small, weightless, wobbly with the vertigo
     of the newly landed
     voyager (lines 51-59)

Here they are taking on the new world they found themselves in, but rather than taking on all the new, they hold onto their roots from home, blending both identities.

       Kahf’s “Hijab Scene #3” does display aspects of third space, but not by the narrator. She opposes third space because she wants to be part of both cultures. Third space is present when American culture (the teacher or PTA leader) is excluding her from the committee because of her religion, the way she looks, or her culture:
     “Would you like to join the PTA?” She asked,
     tapping her clipboard with her pen.
    “I would,” I said, but it was no good,
     she wasn’t seeing me.

     “Would you like to join the PTA?” she repeated.

     “I would,” I said,
     but I could’ve been antimatter (lines 1-7).

       While she openly expresses her desire to join the PTA, she is shut down with silence. We know that she is ignored again because of this line: “A regular American mother next to me/ shrugged and shook her head” (8-9). The narrator becomes frustrated with the situation and conveys these feelings with Jim, which leads the reader into her the anger the narrator encounters.

       After this experience of being ignored the narrator is left with choices: “Americanize” or change herself or to keep her identity, she chooses the latter. This can be interpretated due to no mention of change at the end of the poem, but rather an open-ended question: “Can we save the ship we’re both on, / can we save/ the dilithium crystals?” (19-21). She questions the way society is controlled by certain cultures, leaving the rare ones in the dark. Kahf’s use of point of view is effective and powerful, making a statement about the state of division.

       Sherman Alexie uses first person point of view in his short story, “Honor Society”. The narrator goes into his personal life describing the challenges he faces: the decision of leaving the reservation or staying. Alexie’s choice of telling the story in first person, allows for readers to engage with the narrator even more and perhaps understand him due to the availability of emotions and thoughts. Since the story is told in first person, readers have direct access to the tension that the narrator has in “Honor Society”. Inside, there is a tug-of-war struggle between staying with the old or going with the new. He experiences this third space when he is deciding whether to stay home on his reservation or leave and go to college. Alexie does not focus necessarily on race though the character’s background is involved in the story, but his culture and upbringing pushes the boundaries of identity solidarity in America.

        The style of writing Alexie uses, draws in the internal conflicts the narrator faces and possibly some problems he has experienced in his life. After all, the best fiction comes from real life experiences. The cleverness of the story’s set-up such as the incorporation of the SAT’s “complete the sentence” portion really brings to light the struggles the main character faces and makes the storytelling engaging and relatable:
              “Complete the Sentence: When the Indian boy, poor and..., decided that he had                        to...his reservation, he felt... 1. suicidally depressed...escape...like he was trying to                    save his life 2. loyal to his tribe...remain on...that he had no other choice 3. very                      intelligent...help...that is college education was vital 4. devoted to his                                          parents...abandon them and... like a traitor 5. ambitious...see the world                                      beyond...elated and terrified” (Alexie, “Honor Society”).

       This was a great style choice because it shows the narrator confused feelings as he weighs out his options. Alexie included a chant that perfectly displays the concept of third space: “Ya-ya-hey-hey you can’t leave and you can’t stay, way-ya-hey-hey" (Alexie, “Honor Society”). This chant demonstrates a standstill, the liminality that he faces because he is on the border between choices.

       James McBride’s choices point of view in The Color of Water, is unique as he rotates between his mother’s story and his own. McBride uses is flashbacks as his choice of story-telling and style. Primarily through these flashbacks, his mother’s story is told. This flip-flop between McBride and his mother creates an intriguing dynamic that is engaging. The two different backgrounds of the narrators create a wide range of background experiences that helps both discover who they are.

       James’ discovery of his identity, his “sense of self,” lies in exploring his mother’s past which has contributed to shaping him. He figures out who he is by partially going through his mother’s experiences: “It took many years to find out who she was, partly because I never knew who I was” (McBride 261). Liminality is shown in this novel because James experiences what it is like to stand between two borders: the color of black and white. His discovery of himself also came through considering racial matters which confused him so much. “It wasn’t so much a question of searching for myself as it was my own decision not to look. As a boy I was confused about issues of race...” (McBride 261).

       At the end of the book, McBride talks about the numerous jobs that he had, and many were involved in journalism. For explanations for quitting, he would give various excuses. One was that he needed to find himself and though he was not serious about that, maybe, deep down, he was (McBride, 264-264). After talking about his excuses, he brings up this: “Most black folks considered ‘finding myself’ a luxury. White people seemed to think of it as a necessity-most white people that is, except for that all-important one” [meaning his mother who didn’t want to touch her past] (McBride 265). It was interesting McBride said that the process was a “luxury” for black people because it is like deep-down, he wanted to experience finding himself.

       That time finally came when he hit a breaking point with his identity: “There were two worlds bursting inside me trying to get out. I had to find out more about who I was, and in order to find out who I was, I had to find out who my mother was” (McBride 266). He discovered pieces of himself: “I felt like a Tinkertoy kid building my own self out of one of those toy building sets; for as she laid her life before me, I reassembled the tableau of her words like a picture puzzle, and as I did, so my own life was rebuilt” (McBride 270). Discovering one’s identity can bring healing.

       America used to be described as a melting pot, but now, it is referred to as a tossed salad with each component touching another. When looking at a tossed salad, the different parts of visible because each culture is accompanied by another and are influenced by each other. It is a good thing to have separate cultures because if they went away, freedom in America would be compromised. The beauty of the U.S. is the freedom we are given choice to not conform into a melting pot where everything blurs together.

       With that said, there can still be pressure put on people to conform and Kahf identifies this issue. In a Sukooninterview with Mohja Kahf, she expressed this advice when asked what advice she had for emerging writers and particularly for women writers of color: “In this white supremacist structure of our times, it is easy as a woman of color to be pushed to what the structure needs...” (Kahf, Sukoon Interview). It is sad that this happens, and people of color should not be told to conform. There is no “right” definition of what makes a person American and hyphenated writer support nonconformity. Being an American does not mean picking a side or conforming to “society’s standard" it means not conforming and being free to be who you are.

       The way Mohja Kahf, Sherman Alexie, and James McBride use the concepts of third space and liminality in their writing show how the roles those concepts play out in society. The use of point of view and style by these authors show the power of looking through different lenses which brings about unique insider/outsider perspective that can create further understanding. These literary strategies can enhance a reader’s understanding of cultural struggles present in society.

       Hyphenated writers, Samia Serageldin mentioned, bring a “unique perspective to literature” because they recognize the significance of individuality and not conforming to a certain culture (qtd. in El Gendy 129). People do not have to choose between cultures; they simply can be. There is no need to conform to “some standard”. The perspectives of Mohja Kahf, Sherman Alexie, and James McBride show that there is no “right” way to be and that holding onto one’s heritage does not mean that they can’t be American as well, after all, we are a tossed salad.

Works Cited

Admin, Author, Sukoon interviews Arab-American poet and scholar Mohja Kahf, 24 Apr.  2017.

Alexie, Sherman. “Saturday Rumpus Fiction: Three Short Stories by Sherman Alexie”- “Honor Society,” The Rumpus.com, 19 Nov. 2016, https://therumpus.net/2016/11/saturday-rumpus-fiction-three-short-stories-by-sherman-alexie/.

El Gendy, Nancy. THE MUSLIM FEMALE BODY IN TWENTY-FIRST-CENTURY DISCOURSES BY ARAB AND ARAB AMERICAN WOMEN WRITERS, University of                Oklahoma, Graduate College, 11 Aug. 2014, shareok.org/handle/11244/10492.

Dissertation for graduate school

Kahf, Mohja. “Hijab Scene #3,” E-mails from Scheherazad, University Press of Florida, 2003. Kahf, Mohja. “The Roc,” E-mails from Scheherazad, University Press of Florida, 2003. McBride, James. The Color of Water: A Black Man’s Tribute to His White Mother-

10th Anniversary Edition, Riverhead Books: An imprint of Penguin Random House LLC, Feb. 2006.