Too Bad, So Sad

​
A booming voice sings excuses
The melody echoes in your ears as
A thumping heart begins to crack from inside
Your tongue remembers what it tastes like
To kiss the one you love the most, the one you know you can’t have
A hand slides around your waist, a mouth claims it loves you
As an image of the same hand touching someone else,
A stranger, makes the person standing in front of you
A stranger, too

A lie and another lie, an excuse and another excuse
Turns into a goodbye, one you don’t want to give
The booming voice no longer sings, but screams
As you walk through the bedroom door and down the stairs
You leave a year of your adolescence behind, inside the apartment
Of a boy who only claimed he loved you when you were in the same room
A boy you never saw again

Too bad that he never watched you grow
Into a woman of compassion
Of perseverance
Of fierce and undeniable strength

So sad he couldn’t watch you find yourself
After being lost for so long
Couldn't watch you bloom into a woman
Who only began to see her worth ascend
Who realized she only needed herself in the end

Savannah Shepard

Fifteen

​
Child abuse isn’t always bruises and broken bones
Sometimes it’s broken trust, broken hearts,
fake smiles and being told things you shouldn’t know
but not being allowed to tell

Sometimes it’s “don’t tell your dad”
and “you know how much I love your mother”
Words from a man who isn’t your father

Only fifteen, but still,
it’s “I saw her yesterday and she told me she loved me”
Sometimes it’s locked doors in your own home,
whispers when the house is full

Sometimes it’s adults who lie and expect you to, too
Trying to convince yourself that it’s okay,
dad will never find out,
but silently wishing he would

Sometimes it happens at the mall
You’re with your friends, the mans’ three children
You get a phone call from him: “Your dad knows”
and instantly the tears paint your quivering face
You call your shitty boyfriend: “Can I stay the night?”
Only fifteen, but still,
anywhere is better than going home

Glass

​Glass explodes beneath my fist

Like a terrible, awkward first kiss

Shattered pieces spread like fire across the floor


My mother stops in her tracks,

Smiles a little, and laughs

Happy to see anger and not sadness anymore


All eyes quickly fall on me

Still clenching my fists as I finally start to see

That silence clings to the air like glue


I step toward him, anger burning in my ears

Step toward the man who drove my mother to tears

The man who broke my family in two


Still a child, but my bloody hands push him out the door

“Get out! Just leave! Don’t come back anymore!”

Slam it shut, fall to the floor,

cried like I’ve never cried before


My mother, still smiling, pulls me up to my feet

Walks me to the bathroom, washes my bloody fist clean

I ask about the broken glass, “How will we explain to daddy?”

“We’ll say it was an accident, but only if he asks me.”